{"id":565,"date":"2018-04-12T09:00:10","date_gmt":"2018-04-12T16:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.moonlightdogcafe.com\/blog\/?p=565"},"modified":"2025-12-09T16:40:24","modified_gmt":"2025-12-10T00:40:24","slug":"grieving-your-pet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/dog-cat-health\/grieving-your-pet","title":{"rendered":"Loss of a Pet: Because Grieving Your Pet is Natural"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dealing with Grief from the Loss of a Pet: Our Personal Journey<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When we lost Shinji to cancer, we felt lost. He was seemingly healthy one day and then in the course of five days died of cancer. \u201cHis only flaw is like most of furry companions, they do not live as long as we want.\u201d We wrote those words when we opened Moonlight Natural Pet Store. His birthday was a few weeks ago at the beginning of April. Grieving your pet is inevitable as they live shorter lives than ours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have no regrets. We fed him good food, great supplements, took him to as many places as we could, and took great care of him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At times we still want answers although we know they will not mean much. Genetics and environmental causes of cancer don\u2019t change the fact that he is physically gone. We were surrounded by family and friends who understood that we needed to grieve but some of them did not necessarily understand the depths of grief we were experiencing. Some were dog people, others were not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pet Euthanasia<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

For those who have just received bad news and have not yet said good by to their pet, this is the section for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest decisions any pet parent will ever face. Whether it\u2019s brought on by sudden illness, an accident, or the slow decline that comes with age, compassionate euthanasia is never something we take lightly. When you reach this stage, lean on your veterinarian\u2014they\u2019re there to help you understand what your pet is truly experiencing and what choices are kindest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If treatment is still an option, try to look at it through your pet\u2019s eyes. How would the treatment change their day-to-day life? Would it bring them comfort, or more stress and pain? And realistically, how much time might it give them\u2014weeks, months, maybe longer? Most importantly: what would their quality of life be during that time? If you have pet insurance<\/a>, that helps with the cost side. These are tough questions, but they help you make a decision rooted in love, not fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recognizing End-of-Life Signs in Pets: Making Compassionate Decisions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We were extremely grateful to Dr. Richard Calland<\/span><\/mark>, who was our stand in vet, in case, we needed to put him to sleep. However, we were lucky that Shinji chose how he wanted to go. He waited for all of us to be home and lay out on his bed in a position, where he could see all of us. \u00a0Signs that told us, he was getting to the end included that his food and water intake had gone down to non-existent.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Grieving<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

In our non-professional opinion, if the cat or dog is still drinking water and not in excruciating pain, it is a sign that they are not ready yet.\u00a0 No pet should go through pain for prolonged periods. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having a vet on call to talk you through what symptoms to look out for\u00a0is really helpful<\/strong>. Because, his cancer affected his liver, his skin and eyes had the jaundiced look and on his last day, he barely peed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u200bChoosing a Pet Crematorium: Honoring Your Pet’s Memory Respectfully<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, for us, the folks at \u201cUntil We Meet Again\u201d in North Vancouver were very professional. They were a pet crematorium and during the time we were feeling emotionally raw, they helped guide us into what was a sensitive time for us. I appreciated that as we did not need them to be overly sympathetic but to help us figure out how cremation would occur. We found having him (his ash) at home is really comforting for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u200b4 Tips to Dealing with Grieving Your Pet<\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u200bTip 1: Recognize that Grief after Loss of a Pet is Different for Everyone<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Everyone deals with grief differently. I find that even after close to a year, I keep on turning around searching for him behind me. I used to struggle the most with loss at night because I\u2019m a light sleeper and his breathing was music that soothed me to sleep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joann was the opposite. Day time was the toughest for her as she spent an inordinate amount of time with him during the day coming up with games to play or bonding in other ways. He went on many window-shopping trips and exploration walks just because she wanted to take him to places he had never been before. He reveled in those moments.  Aside from crying (and please give yourself the opportunity to cry if you want) we dealt with grief differently<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I found that I could not look at pictures with him in it. Joann on the other hand found comfort in those. The one thing we did agree on was that we felt we could feel his energy around us . That feeling is dissipating over time. Sounds crazy right? Well, who knows. The loss of a dog, cat or human is a physical thing. Just because an afterlife cannot be physically conceived or proven doesn\u2019t mean it was only in our mind. Go ahead, grieving your pet should be natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip 2: Avoid Regret: Embrace Cherished Memories of Your Pet\u200b<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We said in the beginning that we had no regrets because we lived with and through him. We took up weekly hikes, took him swimming and did what he seemed to think was fun.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Shinji<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

We fondly recall these memories but do not relive them<\/strong>. Notice the distinction. For me, living should be about the present moment.  I did not come up with this principle or hear it from someone else. Shinji taught us both. In his last few days and through out his life, he was always in the moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During those last days, we were extremely sad but focused on making his life comfortable. He spent that time seeming to try to comfort us. On days that he felt great, he\u2019d swim or try to run even though he was loosing coordination. He was incredibly resilient. We did not think about whether things are fair or not, or why us. These moments are inevitable. Death is coming to us all as long as there is birth<\/strong>. The past is gone and the present is just that\u2026 present. It is the moments between birth and death, which should be filled with living!<\/strong> His last moments with us were at home and peaceful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip 3: Navigating Others’ Reactions After Loss of a Pet <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Before Shinji, we may have asked the same question. However, think about it this way. The quality of love, despair and sadness are the same regardless of the object that these feelings are directed to<\/strong>. If anything, those intense emotions can be rationalized: over the past five years, we spent more time with Shinji than we had with any human (even family members) or animal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were with him almost 24 hours a day, almost every day for five years<\/strong> planning his food, his exercise level, and his mental stimulation.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our point is this –\u00a0 don\u2019t expect people to understand your feelings or how you are grieving your pet but they should still respect it and if not that, just observe it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip 4: Memorialize Your Pet<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We found having him (his ash) at home is really comforting for us. You could plant a tree or favourite flower as a living reminder, create a shadowbox with their collar, ID tags, or a cherished toy, pull together a photo album of your favourite moments, or even write a short letter or poem to them. These little acts of remembrance can become touching rituals that help keep their memory close. They are also another way of grieving your pet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip 5: Decide When to Welcome Another Pet After Loss: Factors to Consider<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Everyone will find different ways of coping and for some, it is giving your love to another animal.<\/a><\/span> We have not been able to yet. Nothing felt right. It felt like an attempt to replace him. We struggled with the question of keeping the store open or not, as he was the inspiration behind Moonlight Natural Pet Store. Although we are expecting a human child, the feeling of our loss is ever present despite being happy about the potential new addition to our family. We still cry and have his favourite blankets and toys in our room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After all this time, we are still not ready for another dog in our life but I have come around to being able to look at his pictures without being a wreck. We laugh at how goofy he was and for us, it has been enormously helpful to have his ash at home. His beds and toys are still in the same place they were when he was around and that has helped ease the feeling of being lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are leaning towards having a new pet, you can look at our guide on pet adoptions <\/a>to make sure it is successful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grieving Your Pet is Natural<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not sure if we\u2019ve provided any measure of comfort. Our thoughts remain simple and can be applied to your furry or non-furry family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • Live the moments that are happening now <\/strong>so<\/strong> that you have no regrets. Both dog and cats do exactly that. The future can be planned but don\u2019t live in it. You may not even make it to retirement. It has been almost a year since his passing away. We assumed that we would have Shinji for at least another 5 years.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • We learnt that we didn\u2019t have that time but we were lucky that we had enjoyed the time we had.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    This is a non-judgmental area and we’ll delete any comments that are not helpful or meant to rile people’s feelings. You are welcome to share what you are going through below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u201cHis only flaw is like most of furry companions, they do not live as long as we want.\u201d Everyone deals with grief differently. Here are our tips on how to cope with the loss of a dog or a cat. We also provide tips for planning for what all pet parents dread… saying goodbye. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":14875,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[639,640,638],"class_list":["post-565","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dog-cat-health","tag-grief-after-loss-of-pet","tag-grieving-your-pet","tag-loss-of-pet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=565"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14875"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moonlightpetstore.com\/pet-health-pet-nutrition\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}